Hugh Bollinger / Friday, May 20, 2011

Denmark can suck a (pickled) egg. China too.

By Reilly Capps [caption id="" align="alignleft" width="170" caption="Danish glasses "] ProDesign Eyewear & Eyeglasses

[/caption] The Danes have bad food, bad haircuts, high taxes and stupid square glasses. Now they're annoying me with their braggy, showy, environmental boasts. "We're leading in clean energy! We make a ton of money off it! We'll be 100 percent renewable by 2050!" Go stick your head in a windmill, you Viking turds. You got plenty. Check out this Danish taunting: "Denmark is now one of the most energy-efficient countries in Europe and a net exporter of energy ... oil consumption accounts for less than 40 percent of the energy we use ... Importantly— and with a bearing on the current debate in the United States—we did this while securing economic growth." Why you frontin', Denmark? In the typically immodest Danish way, the Danish embassy goes on to brag about how much money they make: "Denmark earns the world’s largest share of its national revenue from the clean tech industry, at 3.4 percent of GDP. This is far ahead of China, in second place at 1.4 percent." So what! In America, as much as 0.3 percent of our GDP comes from clean-tech! (Says a new report.) That's statistically above zero. And while Denmark is number one and China is number two in terms of the percentage of their economy powered by clean tech, we're number 17. What's the old chant? "We're number 17! We're number 17! We beat Lesotho! We beat Lesotho! Probably! Probably!!" And we beat China on lots of stuff! Debt, for example! To China! Our rock and roll is far superior, and they do not possess any sort of equivalent to Oprah. [caption id="" align="alignright" width="165" caption="Beat this, China. "]

[/caption] And though China keeps announcing more subsidies for high-tech green, my country does too, you Danish LEGO-heads. Just today, Vice President Biden is in Colorado visiting a company that's making window tint for houses, and therefore keeping houses cooler, and thus helping the U.S. reduce energy usage and become a world leader in houses that resemble IROC-Z's. Anyway. Danish dorks. Go French-kiss a mermaid.

Record keeping Jon Stewart on climate change

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Tags: reilly capps RiledUp climate change China clean tech Denmark GDP investment Orah Vikings windmills

Denmark can suck a (pickled) egg. China too.

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